Consistency in Times of Disruption (Part 4 of 7): Bookends

This post is part 4 of 7 in a series for parents on dealing with times of inconsistency, change, and disruption – such as we’re experiencing with the COVID-19 pandemic in the United States and around the world. Each post contains a strategy or concept that families may find useful as they navigate these strange times.

By now, you’ve probably seen many articles and tips from teachers, educators, and other child experts with suggestions for times like these. Most probably encourage parents to implement schedules with specific times of day for activities, to keep things moving and generate a sense of normalcy during the chaos. While the advice is prudent and following it would be tremendously helpful, the fact is most families are too overwhelmed to know where to start with such a task.

The strategies contained herein are intended to be much smaller and hopefully can be implemented relatively easily – even under stress. The objective is to reduce anxiety, stress, and exhaustion, for we all know there is enough of that going around!

#Bookends
The beginning and end of the day are the “bookends” of our lives. Consider beginning your day with your children by doing something that you can do every morning, no matter where you are or what resources are to you. Sing a Good Morning song to them when you get them out of bed. Give them three Good Morning hugs each and say the same thing every single day (“Here’s one for while you were sleeping, one because I woke you up, and one just because!”)

At bedtime, choose a story or a song. It can be the same story every day, or the same song day after day. The reason for doing it is because we want the end of the day to be predictable and familiar. For some children, nighttime can be scary – not only because of the dark, but also because each new day comes with its own set of changes and unknowns. If anxiety can be defined as a fear that I am not going to be okay, then we can understand why children might be anxious when going to sleep, because they do not know precisely what the next day will hold for them.

So whether you sing a song, hug three times, do a special handshake, read a story, have a prayer… do something that’s the same each day. Think of how you might hold up the rest of the day with bookends.

Non-condemnation clause:
Children are resilient. If anything you’ve just read has left you feeling guilty or thinking that you haven’t done everything you should, celebrate the realization that there are areas where you have fallen short of perfection. Then, move forward with a new commitment to work on this area of your parenting or teaching. Your kids will benefit more if you hurry up and quit kicking yourself. When and if you fail yet again in this or another area, try to remember that children are resilient beyond our imagination. Somehow, children are able to survive through our insolence, stubbornness, laziness, and/or [insert negative self-attribution here.] Now cheer up and try to keep these ideas in mind as you begin a new day. You’ll do fine.